I am sitting here typing this, just 2 feet from where I laid with Xev on the morning of the 1st September 2021 – her last day on Earth and just 6 feet from where I last cradled her frail spent body before she was placed in a carrier and taken to the Vet.
Often we would be in the same room together, nearly always touching each other or the closest we could be without doing so, with her on the next chair to me as one example. She would be asleep and I would be ‘doing stuff’ and there would be no words spoken.
In that silence was companionship, friendship, love. Deep, resounding love.
Now, without her I just have the unbearable sound of silence for company and it’s deafening.
Some days, it’s almost too much to bear.
Xev is still with me, in everything I do. The towel she used to lay on is still draped across her favourite chair, as a reminder of where my friend would lay.
Time will never heal this grief because I lost a member of my Soul Tribe. The only way I can perceive of moving forward is of being to others what Xev was for me.
It’s all I can do to make sense of what has occurred.