I needed to get out of the house yesterday.
I went to a church service. I was informed I was to wear a mask or else I couldn’t attend. I did so and although it was a short service of just an hour, at various points I started to experience panic attack symptoms. I used to get these a lot and there they were, back again. I had to lift the mask up from my face every couple of minutes to get gulps of air.
It was a denomination which is flat out against the vaccines/vaccinations. They’ve started getting jabbed. Just one person so far though, to be fair. I felt nauseous when she said she explained her worries to the nurse but “she was very kind to me as I took it.” I asked how she could do that. How she could go against her principles to take the shot and she just shrugged and said “It’s done now.”
I spoke to another person there. She said that it may very well come to her getting it as well but that she will pray to god for no lasting ill-effects from doing so. Such a defeatist look on her face. The atmosphere in the place was horrible. So depressing. Everyone was masked. I couldn’t wait to leave. There were probably only about 15 people there in total including servers and the like. I was informed that most had remained at home because of the mask mandates.
On the way back, I walked along the river.
It should have been a beautiful sight because there was so much bird life along that stretch. There were low-flying geese out across the water. I usually love seeing that except I found the entire scene joyless.
That was because I was in the open air and every single person who walked past me who wasn’t wearing a mask, held their breath and turned their heads away from me as they passed. Those who were wearing a mask, either stopped to let me walk past them or walked out into the road to avoid having to come into close contact with me. Why are they not trusting the science?
I stood there and looked around me. I had loved being there as a child, throwing bread to the swans. The place was heaving with people. I stood a little bit away from the crowds and walked into an open area, where for company I had a number of seagulls walking about in a giant puddle and 2 Egyptian geese pecking at the ground. Beautiful looking birds.
The innocence of my childhood juxtaposed upon this rather daunting scene. I say daunting because I wondered how many of those people would be willing to turn on others if they knew they hadn’t taken the jabs. On the television today, a prominent government minister was making the connection in people’s minds that the unvaccinated were having a “damaging impact” upon everyone else. The two tier society has never felt more evident.
I made the decision there and then that I no longer wanted to be with the majority of people who had gone along with this and who may very turn on many more others down the line at the behest of the public servants we put into power to look after us. I felt alone. I felt voiceless. I felt victimised by the many so the few could exploit human suffering to remain in power and control. I took one last look around me and made my way back. Aside from essentials, I won’t be going out again. I don’t recognise the world in which I used to live. It’s become a hateful, cold and cheerless place.