I Am Rather Curiously Banned From Substack

I wanted to comment on a blog entry to discover I am banned at Substack. I have no idea why. I can appeal via a link however I’m not going to. If they don’t want me there and haven’t given me a reason why they don’t, it’s not somewhere I want to be. I have deleted my Substack account today. If you have a blog there and wonder why I haven’t commented, now you know why.

What Now?

I had so many plans when I started up this WordPress blog. So many things I wanted to say. Almost none of which has come to fruition. It’s been over a year of aimless blogging. I used to love writing. I can remember the excitement I felt when I paid for it (this blog) and began to set it up, design the layout etc.

One of my earliest recollections was of my mother taking me to visit a friend of hers and in one of the rooms downstairs was a typewriter. I already held a fascination for words and the idea I could sit in front of this machine and set out on paper what was in my imagination just blew my mind.

Then with the advent of the internet, all I did was write. I had various other blogs during that time and websites, you name it. Starting this one up, a more professional vehicle for my writing promised so much yet it’s only led me to dead ends. I’m in a total rut with seemingly no way out.

What now? I just don’t know.

Power of One

This is absolutely beautiful Kaushal.

Thank you for sharing.

Kaushal Kishore

Today I came across an interesting story of a jaguar and a hummingbird. According to a legend, there was one day a big fire in the forest. All the animals started fleeing in terror in all directions. One jaguar saw a hummingbird passing over his head again and again, to and fro. He couldn’t control himself and asked the little bird,
“What are you doing?”

“I am going to the lake to drink water with my beak and throw it on the fire to extinguish it,” he answered.

The jaguar laughed, “Are you crazy?
Do you really think that you can put out that big fire on your own with your very small beak?”

“No, I know I can’t. But the forest is my home. It feeds and shelters me and my family. I help the forest grow by pollinating its flowers. I am one of its parts and the…

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Nobody Knows You When You’re Down And Out

I reached a point a couple of weeks back where I felt suicide was the only option left for me. I found the perfect spot. I felt zero fear. Where I hadn’t eaten for 3 or 4 days and hadn’t taken any water in for a couple of days, I was hallucinating those I had loved and lost in my life and as I neared the place I would take my life in the woods, the trees became my safe place and my departed people took their places around me.

As I walked alone for hours leading up to that point and the darkness of the day descended, I sang Eric Clapton songs for company. In particular, Nobody Knows You When You’re Down And Out. I am here now writing this alive although still not in a great place mentally and emotionally however back then, I knew I was walking to my death. Every footstep another step towards the total annihilation of my self. I felt relieved. I felt at peace. I felt immense freedom. Suicide was the one area of my life left where I had some measure of control.

Too many mistakes. Too many missed opportunities. Losing friends and family and with some neighbours not speaking to me at all because I wouldn’t take a jab, preferring the route of natural immunity and bodily autonomy. The sadness palpable that I would never meet my hero, Eric Clapton, who I feel more pride for with each passing day.

I was eventually spotted by a police car, I know not how because I had walked miles away from home, the road I picked and which led to the woodland I was to end my life was pitch black and with no traffic at all up until that point.

Still I am here. I am just taking one day at a time and sometimes, one moment at a time. Tonight, I had a panic attack while sitting in my own kitchen. It came on out of nowhere. I don’t know why I am writing all of this. I just needed to I suppose.

The Body Within the Soul

The body resides within the Soul.

Unleashing My wild creativity!

the-harmony-of-the-soulTHE BODY WITHIN THE SOUL (part one of a series)Information from my soul

I could never understand how the soul could be within the body.  It has always felt way more expansive and limitless than our physical body.  Even so, everything I read has the soul residing in the body just above the heart center.

Understand that this is a concept that is in exploration phase and it is just beginning to take form. It may or may not resonate with you, and that is okay.

A few days ago I was downloaded with information that gave me a whole new understanding about the soul. From my understanding the body is within the soul, not the other way around.  The soul is no longer confined to the body but has expanded to encapsulate the body.  This is part of the evolutionary process. The soul is expansive in a way that…

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Love Moves Us


“When the mind is surrendered, you could say that body walks as an empty shell and is merely waiting to be informed by the Love of God.  When the Love of God does not inform you or ask you to move and take action, then simply rest and do nothing.”  (“The Way of Transformation,” The Way of Mastery, Chapter 19, Page 232)

A totally surrendered Self waits to hear the impression from God as to its next step. This is the ideal state of being. Not many of us reach it all the time, but when we do, we can recognize that this is the best way to live. We move like the wind, not sure of where we will alight next. We listen to how to place our step. We don’t make decisions in a vacuum, without input from the Almighty. And this Almighty, God Himself, moves us by…

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The Practice of Groundedness

Hannes van Eeden

“Groundedness does not eliminate passion, productivity, or all forms of striving and ambition. Instead, it is about ditching an omnipresent and frantic anxiety to begin living in alignment with your innermost values, pursuing your interests, and expressing your authentic self in the here and now. When you are grounded there is no need to look up or down. You are where you are, and you hold true strength and power from that position. Your success, and the way in which you pursue it, becomes more enduring and robust. You gain the confidence to opt out of the consumer-driven rat-race that leaves you feeling like you are never enough.”

— Brad Stulberg inThe Practice of Groundedness

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